So, let’s see!
Wohlan, Magda and Bernhard Bauer! (short: MBB)
You have invited your book readership to develop with you on your website a book of experiences on the love life – probably mainly not quite young couples. And nobody went ….. What a pity! We recently came across this courageous book and liked to review it.
A platform for long-term couples who still love themselves
MBB deserve a reaction. They have „outed“ themselves. Have called out especially older couples with their own example: so live, so love. Not only did they not make friends, they even lost some. Too strange. We readers have it easier, we can stay in private; Friends are preserved. But we could at least accept the invitation to enrich the topic online. Well.
Older couples know all the observations made by MBB. So it is that despite a happy marriage, the love life can slowly „sleep away“. No wonder we all have probably had a busy professional life. Economic and other concerns have been spared almost no one. We have grown up and lost into child-rearing. And then fate might hit you firmly on the hump. You’re supposed to be „lust-ig“? It rips one from every (intermediate) high flight even more into the low. Missed chances are irretrievable and life passes and passes….
But, say MBB: Then and just because of this, stay tuned, consciously make decisions to take each other’s arms: Love and love are an elixir of life, a fountain of youth. And they are right. But how to do it? Every couple must (should) find their own way. But it would be interesting to hear how others deal with it better.
Are there many ways?
Has Corona changed anything? For better or worse?
In any case, MBB have hit a few guiding pegs:
MBB: Talk to each other about your love life, often and about everything!
Conversation, conversation and again conversation about the state of one’s own love life, that is the key. It’s not as easy as you might think. Still not after decades. The conversation about love life is often completely denied; very fatal. Often it is only shy, which is only a little less fatal: Some people are afraid to open even before the decades familiar, hopefully still loving partner/in the supposed Pandoras box. Why? Because it is to be feared that she or he could not find the right time / circumstance / condition / tone and therefore embarrassment could arise, which in turn could make you feel clumsy. Who likes that? Or one fears that one could be abruptly rejected or come across as a nymphomaniac or a liar or something. That’s the way it is. So there is a lot of squabling about, only about the love life rarely or not at all. Even digestion, arguably a rather subtle-private thing, gets a much, much more prominent rank than what most (in silence) hopefully still move violently. It’s the same. Have you ever noticed what inconsequential table gelabers or sick leavers are being throttled even among their closest friends well into the night? Love and love life, on the other hand, are non-themes. With sex as a topic it is briefly a bit suggestive, but the seriousness is quickly successfully crushed.
MBB: Make a commitment about loving!
Secondly, it is important to develop a fixed rhythm for the life of love. Scheduled – and not waiting for the stellar hour. Sounds a little artifiable, but it is not: we do so much on a regular basis, which serves the preservation of life. Food first, who wanted to forget about it or let go altogether? And what else do we not do according to plan, especially diets. Even the car enjoys a scheduled service rhythm. Only the love life usually only blooms from time to time. Or not at all (more). Widely lamented reality.
MBB: Fixed days or occasions should be agreed, for which both parts are committed to wanting to be completely two-way. That is wise advice. Who, please, did not know that everything is being destroyed again by everyday life. Yes, say MBB, but that is precisely why a agreed, agreed rhythm is so important with the agreed attitude of only wanting to approach positively. Even after many years of partnership, wanting to be very curious about each other again and again, really wanting to be „one“, and regularly. It is a matter of a fundamental decision to want.
Question to MBB: Is this to be sustained? Do you not tend to lose yourself again and again in everyday life with this and children and grandchildren, to postpone and postpone the „rhythm project“ – until you have literally slept it? Yes, say MBB, let’s say yes, that’s why we need to find wake-up drugs in time. Open question to the forum:
Which other guards would be?
Is the bandwidth large?
BB: Third, swinging as a stimulus
Many argue that a sleepy love life can be cured with a few blue or yellow powders. Oh, if it was so easy. What „above“, in the head, no longer works, also does not work in the mezzanine. Hence the recipe: develop your own head cinema, join forces with others, write your own script. That enlivens.
Opening up to others is generally not easy. Not in the context of love life. After all, it is not insignificant about the compatibility of style, culture and aesthetics. But if given this, the vitalization announcement seems to be correct:
The life and bustle in lifestyle resorts or in the Camping Libertins, which usually lasts for quite a while, „unites“ people very much; real friendships. There it’s really lusty, hui, hui, hui …. It’s a mess, together, coexistence, everywhere during the day, in the evening in the „Disco“ Club and in the mild nights also outdoors – and all this in the greatest serenity, friendhood and consideration.
Yes, dear MBB, they are right, the imagination and curiosity fly high in an exuberant society. Either the libertine people are all so relaxed by their very way – or they will. Around the clock Lovelife all around, in the most beautiful surroundings and in complete freedom, there comes a „bomb“ mood, an island feeling. Are all very stable partnerships (wobble candidates, hands off!). Just want to take a break from everyday life and cheer each other up. They want to be good at it and they are. Pure lust for life – immediately on stock for longer „winters“. What should be wrong with the lust for life? Passion unites. Sounds terribly hedonistic, but it is a means of making the love life more joyful without harming anyone. Objections? Well. Speaking of which: You should take a look at the murals of the Etruscans….
All of this, of course, pushes again to a few questions, especially to MBB:
How long can you maintain this club style?
Do older couples perhaps need their own place of encounter?
In a private ambience?
How to find each other? About obscure advertisements?
Or should older people simply mix themselves casually among the boys?
How are they received by them? Mei, look, wia hearty, the liaben oids… Is it? Yes? No?
How do older people deal with the elderly?
Is there a pragmatic tolerance bandwidth?
It’s nice that MBB has opened a platform where couples in similar situations can openly share how they deal with their challenges in love life – and MBB’s more experienced opinion on this will not be missed. Anonymous posting is ok for MBB (they must (!) exercise the full admin rights& duties anyway; can/must delete if necessary, this is also completely ok). But perhaps an attached email address signals a little more authenticity? If possible feedback came, then this should primarily run via the website. Perhaps there could even be an online community. Why not? There are also stamp collectors or lemon butterfly protectors.
So, let’s see!